A dark bedroom at night, a single bedside lamp lighting the pillows and rumpled covers of an unmade double bed.

Lying Awake Next to a Snorer: A Guide for the Other Side of the Bed

It's 11.40pm and you were drifting off. Then the breathing beside you changes gear, catches once, and settles into that low saw you know by heart. You stare at the ceiling and start counting the hours left before the alarm.

If that's your night, this one is for you. Most snoring advice talks to the person making the noise. This is for the person lying next to it.

Where the noise comes from

Snoring is a sound made by soft tissue. When the upper airway narrows during sleep, air moves through the gap in a turbulent rush and the tissue around it vibrates. Anything that narrows the path adds to the racket: a blocked nose, a cold that hasn't cleared, hay fever, a couple of drinks. Alcohol relaxes the muscles of the throat, which is why the loudest nights tend to follow a dinner out.

A mouth that falls open adds to it. Air taken in through an open mouth skips the nose and travels the noisier route, and the jaw dropping back narrows the space behind the tongue. That is why the snoring often gets louder once your partner is properly under.

That matters to you for one reason. Your partner isn't doing it to you, and a lot of what drives it can change.

Look after your own sleep first

You can't control the other side of the bed tonight. You can control yours.

Get to sleep first. Drift off before your partner comes to bed and the snoring has to wake you, which is a harder job than keeping you from dropping off. Try going up twenty minutes earlier for a week and see what happens.

Put earplugs in the right way. Most foam earplugs fail because they sit at the entrance of the ear. Roll the plug into a thin snake between your fingers. Reach over your head with the opposite hand, pull the top of your ear up and back to straighten the canal, then slide the plug in and hold it with a fingertip while it expands. When it's seated, your own voice sounds muffled.

Give your ears something else. A fan, a white noise machine or a steady sound from your phone helps mask the snoring. Keep it low and constant. Music with a beat or a podcast with a plot will keep you listening.

Raise it over breakfast

Nobody hears "you're snoring again" well at 3am, and an elbow in the ribs won't start a useful conversation. Pick a calm moment in daylight, over coffee or on a walk.

Start with your own sleep. "I keep waking up and I'm wrecked by Thursday" opens a conversation. A list of complaints starts a defence. Your partner sleeps through the whole performance, so they may have no idea how loud it gets. If they want proof, a voice memo from your phone settles it in seconds. Play it with a smile.

Then treat it as a shared project. You both want the same thing: a quiet room and two rested people in it.

Small changes worth trying together

Move last drinks earlier. Healthdirect suggests avoiding alcohol for at least four hours before sleep to help with snoring. On a Friday that looks like wine with dinner, then water.

Clear the nose before bed. A blocked nose is one of the common causes of snoring, and spring in Australia brings plenty of them. A saline rinse, fresh pillowcases and a dust-free bedroom are cheap places to start.

Try a nasal strip. A strip sits across the bridge of the nose and lifts the sides of the nostrils from the outside, opening the nasal valve, the narrowest part of the nasal airway. It takes ten seconds to put on and one night to test. Be honest with each other about what it does. A strip works on the nose. If the noise starts further back, in the throat, it will do less on its own, and the other changes on this list matter more.

Then keep the mouth shut with tape. Opening the nose does nothing if the mouth falls open anyway, and this is the half most people skip. A small piece of tape across the lips holds the jaw closed and keeps the breathing on the route you just cleared, which is how it works on the snoring. Ours has a hole through the centre, so it is a reminder rather than a seal and the mouth is never fully covered. One rule comes before all of it. If your partner cannot breathe comfortably through their nose, the tape is not for them. Clear the nose first, then try the two together.

Check the sleeping position. Back sleeping tends to be the loudest. We covered why, and what to do about it, in The Side You Sleep On.

A spare room isn't a breakup

Some nights the kindest move is to sleep apart. People call it a sleep divorce, and it's more common than couples admit. When the American Academy of Sleep Medicine surveyed US adults in 2025, close to a third said they had slept apart from their partner. Their spokesperson framed it as mutual respect for the sleep space. Nothing about it says the relationship is in trouble.

Keep the spare room for the bad nights. Share the wind-down, have a cuddle before lights out, meet for coffee in the morning. Two people who slept well are nicer to each other at breakfast.

When to bring in your GP

Snoring is very common, and most of it is a nuisance you can work on at home. If your partner's snoring comes with gasping or choking, or they're sleepy through the day, book them in with a GP. You're the one who hears it, so go along and describe what happens at night.

Getting your nights back

Your sleep counts too. Give yourself a head start and a good pair of earplugs, talk about it in daylight, and work on the snoring as a team.

If a stuffy nose is part of the picture, our Nasal Strips are made to support nasal airflow and help reduce snoring, and our vented Mouth Tape keeps the breathing going through the nose you just opened. The Sleep Bundles pair them for around 10% less than buying the two separately. Both are included in the Australian Register of Therapeutic Goods, ARTG 530972 and 530970. Standard shipping is free on orders of $40 or more, and new customers can take 18.3% off with WELCOME183 at 18pointthree.com.au. Buy a box for the snorer. Count it as a gift to yourself.

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